


The Devil's Soulmate

by Knoire



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Childhood Friends, Drabble, Gen, Just a lil something, Memories, Romance, i don't know what this is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 12:34:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16095782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knoire/pseuds/Knoire
Summary: The Devil's name was Jaehyun. You're his soulmate.A small drabble involving Jaehyun's inner monologue.





	The Devil's Soulmate

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh, I don't know what this is. I just wanted to do this after being inspired by way too many songs.

Don’t look at me like that.

 

Punch me, stab me, leave me, but don’t look at me like that.  
Your scathing words, laced with malice and venom, cut deeper than it should. Nothing hurts more than your steady words of judgment, nothing accompanying it other than steady breaths; neither violence nor tears. The way you stand there, refusing to leave me, knowing all too well that ending this here would mean the end of my suffering. Breaking this god-forsaken bond would mean the end of all our suffering, our grief, and our fights- but you refuse to leave my side.

 

I don’t know if it’s love, or hatred, that keeps you here.

 

But if those eyes were the window to the soul, they didn’t show me love nor hate. Just determination where there once was confusion. Seeing the fire in your eyes confuse me.

 

You’re in front in me. But I don’t see you.  
I don’t see my childhood friend.  
I don’t see the person I knew for 15 years.

 

I don’t know this person.

  
Who are you?

 

 

 

* * *

 

  
I shouldn’t have touched you.

 

My hands were tainted. Since the day I turned 8, nothing would be the same again. I wouldn’t have touched you if I was in my right mind, but I wasn’t. Maybe it was the summer heat, or that girl who wrapped her arm around yours with a loving gaze, or that smile of yours- one which only I had seen.

 

It was frightening, waking up to you the next day. I expected you to give me a black eye, or tell me to forget the night before. I braced myself for the worst, like the snowy night when I turned 8. I clutched onto the blanket sheets, shutting my eyes when I saw you move, and held in my breath.

 

And, nothing.  
Nothing, but a laugh.

 

“What are you closing your eyes for, Jaehyunnie?”

 

I opened my eyes to the most beautiful sight in my whole life.  
Soft morning sunrays streaming across your face, your fresh out of bed hair, your face glowing from the restful sleep, your eyes that showed the softness under your cold skin, and your smile. A smile which I’ll never forget.

 

I wish I had my camera in my hands to take a picture of you then.  
None of the pictures I have now compared to that morning.

 

It wasn’t the beauty which I wanted to capture, or the serenity.  
I wanted to capture it because I knew that I could never see that same smile again.

 

On that day, when you turned 18, and you held out your wrist to show me the reason for your smile, I chose my path.

  
My path away from you.

 

 

“Isn’t it pretty, Jaehyun?” You said with a low chuckle, tracing the letters of the name that appeared that day, spelling it out. “'Jung YoonOh', Beautiful, isn’t it?” You locked eyes with me, your eyes showing genuine happiness.

 

I wish my eyes would have mirrored that emotion.  
I wish I could have smiled, wrapped my arms around you, and stayed in bed longer.  
I wish I could have just reflected those emotions.

 

Instead, I ran.  
Away from you, from my fortress, and into the unknown.  
The darkness spreading from my hands to my arms, tainting every single inch of my body, and I embraced it.

 

I’m sorry.  
You weren’t what I feared.

 

It was your love.

  
And it turned me into the devil.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“The Devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes in as everything you’ve ever wished for.” It’s something I’ve heard time and time again. The more I hear it, the more it makes sense. Examples of it were everywhere. I’m not a philosophy student, nor am I an expert in the subject, but when you’ve been around the block, the quote ingrains itself in you.

 

Like it has with me.

 

My bed never smells the same. Some nights, it smells like expensive perfume and champagne, and some other nights it smells like tobacco and cologne. It has annoyed my cat, I’ll be honest about that. But I glanced over it, not giving it much attention aside from acknowledging the thought.

 

“C’mon Claire, you can’t keep trying to claw at the blankets. I’ll wash them— don’t tear that!” Trying to keep my cat from clawing up my comfy and beautiful bed is the most worrisome thing about my life. I have lovers to give me love, a stable and lucrative job to make money from (and one that my parents approve of), a full belly, and a sweet albeit annoyed black cat. What else could I ask for?

 

What else could I ask for?

 

I could never get you back. So, what else could I ask for?

 

A purr signals the start of my day. I picked up my cat, stroking her beautiful black fur, off to get breakfast for the both of us and start the day. Though I’m normally energized to conquer the day, something didn’t sit right with me that day. Something was coiling up in my abdomen, and it made me anxious. Maybe it was that message from that model, who was letting me know they'd come over tonight to ‘spend the night’ at my place. Maybe it was how the morning looked through the window when I woke up- soft morning rays beaming down on my bed, bringing up old memories. Or maybe it was how the letters on my wrist burned when I touched them.

 

Maybe I would never know till I opened that door.

 

 

* * *

 

I was wrong.

 

I wouldn’t have known until _you_ opened that door.

 

I never asked my lovers if they had partners. It wouldn’t be proper, but it was a reasonable assumption to make, considering how the friend circle around me treated cheaters. Taking that into consideration, it would make sense that none of my lovers would have partners, lest they bare the wrath of the rest of us.

 

But there I was, sitting up in shock, staring at you like a deer in the headlights as my “lover” tried to convince you that this wasn’t ‘what it seemed’. I would have scoffed at them with a cigarette in my hand, but I didn’t. Because it wasn’t just anyone that stormed through that door I left unlocked with robberies uncommon. It wasn’t some stranger that stood there, baffled and confused, while the supposed ‘partner’ was grasping at stray threads to keep their relationship intact.

 

It was you.

 

I barely registered the burning on my wrist, or the wails of the partner turned cheater, or the faint glowing letters on your wrist that spelled out my name.

 

All I saw was you.

 

Your eyes showed me confusion, anger, and grief.  
And for the second time, I couldn’t reflect it.

 

They say, nothing can separate soulmates.

 

I thought I could sever this bond we had. But there you stood, with my name on your wrist, and your name on mine. And I could hear the whispers I heard before many times in bed, sometimes said with malice, sometimes with confusion, and sometimes in mockery, _“The Devil has a soulmate?”_

 

 

If I could ask the universe anything, I would ask why they had _cursed_ you with me.

 

 

Despite running away and taking away your happiness, you stood there, tears pooling in your eyes as you smiled at me,

“Long time no see, Jaehyunnie.”

 

And I wondered why you were my _blessing._

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked that. Cx


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